A strong family unit tops our list of parenting goals. This goes hand in hand with encouraging the girls’ close relationship as sisters. Some people have said that you cannot force your children to be friends. However, I don’t believe this. It’s not enough to tell them to love each other and to appreciate each other. But there are other methods that I think can help siblings form strong bonds.
Even though my children are just 7 and 4, I already see the beginnings of a deep love and loyalty between them. They still fight, but they’re also best friends.
Here is a sneak peek at what we’ve done (and not done) that has worked for us!
Compare your children with each other.
No matter how tempting the temptation may be, never say “why can’t I be more like my sister”, no matter how tempting the temptation might be. This may appear to be a way to encourage a child to behave in a more positive manner, but the truth is that it teaches children to judge their self-worth by how they compare themselves to others.
If we hear something enough times, we start to believe it. If you tell a child that they are not as good as their siblings in terms of eating, sleeping, behaving, or focusing, then they may start to believe it.
Teach your children to respect or at least appreciate their differences.
Comparing children is not a good idea. However, pointing out the strengths of each child is a wonderful way to get your kids to appreciate and recognize the positive aspects of differences. We always try to highlight the positives. We can use examples like: “Hailey you seem to always know when someone is in need of a hug!” Or “Kaitlyn your energy at our family walk was amazing!”
Take on a chore or project with them.
If I say it one more time, I know the girls’ eyes will roll. But this is a belief that I live by every day at home. A common goal that you can achieve together will build camaraderie, and result in a feeling of mutual accomplishment. They both feel a sense of accomplishment when they complete a task, whether it is cleaning up after breakfast or making a pillow fort.